Medieval Medicine: When Leeches Were Superheroes and Mercury Was Magic

In the wild world of medical history, things were pretty "out there." From bizarre treatments to harmful substances masquerading as cures, the annals of medicine are chock-full of strange practices that would make your modern-day doctor cringe and chuckle simultaneously. Join us on a hilarious and eyebrow-raising journey through time as we explore some of the quirkiest and downright dangerous medical practices in history.

Leeches: Nature's Little Vampires

Leeching in ancient times

Remember the days when doctors prescribed leeches for pretty much everything? Got a headache? Leeches! Fever? Leeches! Broken heart? Well, maybe not, but you get the idea. Leeches were the multitasking miracle workers of the medieval medical world. They were believed to suck out "bad blood" and balance the body's humors, which were thought to be responsible for illness. While leech therapy is an effective medical practice currently, the medieval use of leeches was all over the place.

Hippocrates, the ancient Greek physician who lived from approximately 460 BC to 377 BC, was the pioneer in applying the concept of humorism to the field of medicine. In the context of ancient medicine, the term "humor" denoted a fluid or semi-fluid substance. According to Hippocrates, the human body consisted of four primary humors: blood, phlegm, black bile, and yellow bile. Furthermore, he believed that the state of health or illness in an individual naturally arose when these humors were imbalanced, either in excess or deficiency. Therefore, if a person fell ill, it was attributed to an imbalance within their bodily humors. To remedy an illness, the excess of the relevant humor needed to be eliminated. One common therapeutic approach involved the practice of bloodletting, which entailed the use of a specific instrument—leeches. Leeches were employed as a treatment for a wide array of conditions, including headaches, gout, contusions, and various neurological disorders, among others.

Mercury Madness

Back in the day, mercury was all the rage as a cure-all. It was used to treat syphilis, a sexually transmitted disease, leading to the phrase "a night with Venus, a lifetime with Mercury." It turns out that mercury is highly toxic and can cause severe neurological damage, but hey, at least it made your skin paler! Mercury poisoning was just an unfortunate side effect of being "cured."

During the early 16th century, mercury emerged as a remedy for syphilis. Mercury was thought to possess medicinal properties, and it was considered a potential cure for various ailments. However, it was in the mid-16th century that the French physician Jean Fernel initially proposed the use of mercury as a treatment for syphilis. Mercury was administered in diverse forms, including ointments, pills, and injections. The belief was that mercury could eradicate syphilis by expelling the disease from the body through inducing sweating and salivation. Nevertheless, employing mercury as a remedy for syphilis was a subject of controversy due to its frequent and severe side effects, which encompassed tooth loss, kidney damage, and, in some cases, even fatality. Despite these associated risks, the use of mercury persisted as a prevalent treatment for syphilis until the discovery of penicillin in the 20th century.

Trepanation: Hole-y Healing

A 17th-century naval surgeon’s trephination kit.

Have a throbbing headache? Why not drill a hole in your skull to let out the evil spirits? Trepanation, the practice of drilling holes in the skull, was actually performed in many ancient cultures. While it may sound like a terrible idea, some people believe it had therapeutic benefits. However, modern medicine has deemed this practice "skull-ful thinking."

According to texts on trepanation, the Hippocratic practitioners (I would have bribed not to have been born during the Hippocratic age) held the belief that stagnant blood, akin to stagnant water, posed a threat to health. They believed it could putrefy and transform into pus. Consequently, one of the purposes, or at least one of them, for performing trepanation was to enable the escape of blood before it underwent this detrimental transformation. In cases involving depressed fractures, there was no necessity for trepanation since the fractured skull already provided pathways for the blood to exit.

Smoking for Health

In the 20th century, smoking was often touted as a health booster. Cigarette ads featured doctors endorsing their favorite brands, and some even claimed that smoking improved lung function. Little did they know that smoking would become one of the leading causes of preventable deaths worldwide. Ah, the irony!

Advert in the Indianapolis Times for the treatment of Hay fever, asthma, and rose fever. August 17, 1923

Fecal Transplants: The Poop Medicine

In more recent history, fecal transplants have been used to treat various gastrointestinal ailments. The idea is to introduce healthy gut bacteria from one person into another by using, well, poop. While the science behind it is sound, the thought of a "fecal transplant" is enough to make anyone's stomach turn. But hey, it works! You can check it out here.

While these strange medical practices from the past might seem laughable today, they highlight the importance of scientific progress and evidence-based medicine. It's a reminder that what seems like a medical miracle today could turn out to be a historical head-scratcher tomorrow. So, the next time you're tempted to reach for a leech or a cigarette to cure what ails you, just remember that medical science has come a long way, and sometimes, the best remedy is a good dose of common sense.

Additionally, this history makes us appreciate just how much advancement in knowledge and science has helped make all of our lives easier. I can't imagine getting drilled in the head to cure a simple case of headache.